Posted on: April 28, 2011 12:00 pm
Edited on: June 19, 2011 12:55 am

Ugliest Players in Major League Baseball

So, I haven't posted on my blog in quite some time. What better way to brush off the cobwebs than post a Top 10 list?

Any true baseball fan watches at least 100 games a year. That's a nice round number, wouldn't you say? Not too high, not too low. Anyway, there's lots of slow time during a baseball game. Batters re-adjust their gloves between pitches. Pitchers take strolls after they don't get a call on a ball on the black.

The point is, we as fans get a lot of time to look at these ballplayers standing still for a long camera shot. Most of them are fairly modest to good looking men, and I say this in the most hetero sexual way possible.

But there are also a handful of players whose existence defines the word ugly. You know who they are. If you don't, allow me to share with you, in no particular order, a list of the ugliest players in baseball.

Aaron Harang
I wouldn't say Aaron Harang is as ugly as he is scary. Still, his hulking frame, bulging (yet lazy) eyes and underwhelming beard will make him a lock for this list for years to come.

Brett Gardner
I can't think of a player in baseball who wears a uniform worse than Brett Gardner. He wears his helmet low, his socks too high, and his uniform is too baggy. He's an embarrassment to the Pinstripes. His beady eyes and receding hairline don't help his cause.

A.J. Burnett
AJ just has one of those faces you want to flog with a 2x4. Not sure anyone would argue with his being on this list.

Jorge Cantu
You all knew this was coming. Jorge's grill looks like it was butchered with a razor blade everyday of his life since he first hit puberty. His wispy facial hair and horrid mustache put the cherry on this turd sundae.

Jack Wilson
Something is wrong with Jack Wilson's face. I'll leave it at that. Maybe one of you can elaborate for me, but if not, I'll let the Google search result speak for itself.

Colby Rasmus
The mullet and douche-bag-pencil-thin wannabe-mustache do Mr. Rasmus in.

Edinson Volquez
Big hair, big forehead and big lips. The guy's grill is frightful. In fact, If I had to put these guys in order, Mr. Volquez just might be THE ugliest player in baseball.

Honorable Mentions:

Miguel Cabrera, Jamey Carroll, Aaron Miles, Vicente Padilla, Jose Reyes, Wilson Valdez, Wes Helms, David Ortiz, John Lackey, Kevin Youkilis, Brian Wilson, Justin Turner, John Lannan

That's all I've got for now. I'm open to suggestions, I'd love to get this to an official top 10 list. So, if there's a player whose very appearance on camera offends you, leave a comment and I'll take him into consideration. Thanks for the read.

Category: MLB
Posted on: October 19, 2009 9:26 pm

Shove It, Sharpton. It's a Free Country.

Rush Limbaugh has been in the news lately because he's taken interest in investing in an NFL franchise, the St. Louis Rams.

Cue Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and every black sportswriter in the United States getting their panties in a bunch.

Limbaugh, a radio personality and conservative political commentator, has been accused of being racist by Sharpton and Co. That's a crushing-blow-of-an-accusation, considering the fact that over two thirds of current NFL players are black.

Before I go further, I want to let it be known I am by no means a fan of Limbaugh's, nor am I a Republican. In fact if I did vote, and I don't because America is a free country and I choose not to, I would vote democrat. In addition, I have never listened to Limbaugh's radio show or read any of his books. I could care less about his political views.

The problem with this whole situation is that it's no longer a sports issue. It has become a political issue, a racial issue. Limbaugh has said many controversial things throughout his career (you don't have to listen to him to know that). Sharpton and Jackson, metaphorical puppeteers of black people, will be damned if an alleged racist has such a high-ranking position in a franchise that employs so many black people.

There's one flaw with these racist accusations...Limbaugh has never gone on the record of being racist. When employed by ESPN a few years ago, he suggested (on-air) that black quarterback Donovan McNabb was being unnecessarily defended by the media because they desired to see a black quarterback succeed. An incredibly stupid thing to say on the air? You bet. A statement indicative of a full-blown racist? Not quite.

Further damning for Limbaugh is the stereotype (a relatively accurate one) that most black people exhibit liberal political views. In his favor, however, was the love-fest shown by media outlets not named FOXNews for Barack Obama and his presidential candidacy. So maybe what Limbaugh said about McNabb had merit after all.

The disdain and spite being shown by the likes of Jackson and Sharpton toward Limbaugh is laughable. These same men probably shot sticky wads of glee when "the Rooney Rule" was implemented by the NFL in 2003.

For those not familiar with the Rooney Rule, it requires that NFL teams interview minority candidates for head coaching positions before filling the vacancy. Apparently, 66% of the players being black isn't enough. Only a few blacks had head coaching positions prior to the rule's adoption...there HAD to be a racial conspiracy!

The irony of blackballing Limbaugh is that the Rooney Rule is more racist than Limbaugh has ever proven to be. Black people campaigned for equality during the Civil Rights movement, not special treatment.

Imagine if a white supremacist lobbied for a "Peyton Hillis Rule," which would require NFL teams to provide mandatory tailback tryouts for white players. The very idea of that rule would be met with harsh criticism, and rightfully so. If every starting running back in the NFL is black, there's a reason. If nearly ever head coach is white, there's a reason for that too, whatever it may be. The jobs should go to whoever is most qualified for the position, regardless of skin color.

Similarly, Limbaugh should be given a chance at ownership, despite the baggage he brings with him. If he wants to invest in a franchise, let the higher-ups of the NFL exercise due diligence and determine if Limbaugh is worthy of such a privilege. There's no need for pro-black figures to come out of the woodwork and say "Black players won't want to play for Rush Limbaugh." People play professional football because they're lifelong athletes who love the game and enjoy getting paid millions of dollars to play it. I doubt the interests and/or political views of the owner go through a player's mind as he blitzes the quarterback.

If black people want to avoid the stereotype that they all think the same, people like Sharpton, Jackson, etcetera need to shut up. I know they feel it's their job, their civic duty or whatever to speak out. However, they need to realize this is a sports issue, that's it! Rush Limbaugh isn't gunning to run the NAACP. He wants to invest in sports franchise, it's really that simple.

Now, the impossible has happened: Limbaugh, a generally slanderous figure, has become the victim. Nice job, Al and Company.

Category: NFL
Tags: NFL
Posted on: January 9, 2009 2:56 am

Media beats the dead horse that is Pacman

In the past, it has usually been Adam Jones doing himself in. Whether it was brawling with his own bodyguard or making it thunderstorm in the club, Jones just couldn't keep himself out of trouble. Jones had received multiple suspensions, usually correlating with how the legal proceedings went.

The Dallas Cowboys have released Jones, after a report on ESPN implicated Jones in past incident they were unaware of. In the story, Jones(allegedly) was the ring leader behind a shooting outside of a club. To be honest, the details of the story don't matter to me.

What does matter to me is how quickly the Cowboys dumped Jones once they heard of the allegations. Jerry Jones and the Cowboys stuck with Jones through his initial reinstatement, his mid-season suspension, and second comeback. Then all of a sudden, a story breaks about an past incident (in which no charges were filed against Jones), and they release him. Apparently, lack of evidence to press charges against Jones didn't stop the Cowboys' quick trigger-finger.

In the report, a video camera captured Pacman at the scene of the alleged crime, and that is pretty damning. However...that, combined with these men telling their side of the story (with their identities in confidence, mind you), is basically the media shoving "GET RID OF PACMAN" propaganda down everyones' throats, especially anyone affiliated with the Cowboys.

It was a PR hit the Cowboys just couldn't deal with again, so they did what they had to do...that's what it looks like on the surface. But it almost seems as though Jerry Jones himself wanted the story to come out so he'd have an excuse to get rid of Pacman.

Don't get me wrong, I generally wouldn't defend Pacman. I think he's a team liability and the Cowboys shouldn't have gotten him in the first place, but something seems fishy here. Maybe I'm crazy and thinking about it too just seems unfair that Pacman basically got snitched out of his job by the accusers and the media.

It just goes to show how powerful the media has become.

Category: NFL
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