So, I haven't posted on my blog in quite some time. What better way to brush off the cobwebs than post a Top 10 list?
Any true baseball fan watches at least 100 games a year. That's a nice round number, wouldn't you say? Not too high, not too low. Anyway, there's lots of slow time during a baseball game. Batters re-adjust their gloves between pitches. Pitchers take strolls after they don't get a call on a ball on the black.
The point is, we as fans get a lot of time to look at these ballplayers standing still for a long camera shot. Most of them are fairly modest to good looking men, and I say this in the most hetero sexual way possible.
But there are also a handful of players whose existence defines the word ugly. You know who they are. If you don't, allow me to share with you, in no particular order, a list of the ugliest players in baseball.
I wouldn't say Aaron Harang is as ugly as he is scary. Still, his hulking frame, bulging (yet lazy) eyes and underwhelming beard will make him a lock for this list for years to come.
I can't think of a player in baseball who wears a uniform worse than Brett Gardner. He wears his helmet low, his socks too high, and his uniform is too baggy. He's an embarrassment to the Pinstripes. His beady eyes and receding hairline don't help his cause.
AJ just has one of those faces you want to flog with a 2x4. Not sure anyone would argue with his being on this list.
You all knew this was coming. Jorge's grill looks like it was butchered with a razor blade everyday of his life since he first hit puberty. His wispy facial hair and horrid mustache put the cherry on this turd sundae.
Something is wrong with Jack Wilson's face. I'll leave it at that. Maybe one of you can elaborate for me, but if not, I'll let the Google search result speak for itself.
The mullet and douche-bag-pencil-thin wannabe-mustache do Mr. Rasmus in.
Big hair, big forehead and big lips. The guy's grill is frightful. In fact, If I had to put these guys in order, Mr. Volquez just might be THE ugliest player in baseball.
Miguel Cabrera, Jamey Carroll, Aaron Miles, Vicente Padilla, Jose Reyes, Wilson Valdez, Wes Helms, David Ortiz, John Lackey, Kevin Youkilis, Brian Wilson, Justin Turner, John Lannan
That's all I've got for now. I'm open to suggestions, I'd love to get this to an official top 10 list. So, if there's a player whose very appearance on camera offends you, leave a comment and I'll take him into consideration. Thanks for the read.
Ugliest Players in Major League Baseball
Posted on: April 28, 2011 12:00 pm
Edited on: June 19, 2011 12:55 am